
Un prieten a scris mai bine decat pot sa redau eu in proza:
I want us to love each other one day at a time and string all those days together like the precious things they are instead of trying too hard and promising too much.
Please don’t expect me to always be good and kind and loving. There are times when I will be cold and thoughtless to understand. But it will only be because of the weather or the flu or one of my moods.. not because I love you less. Please remember that.
Please don’t think about all the things that could happen to us. Don’t think about other people coming inbetween us. Don’t think about outgrowing each other or growing out our love.
Please do think about all the good things that could happen to us. Think of growing closer to each other, finding new reasons of being together and think of loving. I will, too. I am right now.
Please don’t get mad at me if I forget your birthday or a special day we share and please remember that there is an “everydayness” about what we have that is beyond birthdays or anniversaries. That’s why, sometimes, I may not remember one special day because all our days are special to me.
Please don’t ever sign a letter “as ever.”
Please don’t be too easy on me or expect me to be too easy on you. Both of us have room to grow, and both of us have to grow if we want to hold each other’s love.
Please don’t give me too much of yourself or take too much of me. In our togetherness, we still need our private places.
Please listen to me when I’m talking to you.. and please, don’t think about someone else when I kiss you.
Please don’t start an argument or make me look foolish in front of other people.. but when we’re alone, don’t feel like you’re walking on eggs. Go ahead and say what you think. If I need telling off, tell me off. Then we can have our fight and make up and love again; just us.
Please remember to call me sometimes for no reason except you feel me thinking about you, needing your voice.
Please don’t ever lose that laugh of yours - it’s such a real laugh. And never change the way you brush my hair back from my eyes and smile when I’m trying to be very serious… or the little odd ways you have of saying things that make you “you”, one of a kind, the one I love.
Please let’s not use politeness and busyness and silence to avoid our problems and the places where we hurt. If something is wrong, let’s go after it and make it right.
It’s a good feeling to think of growing older with you, but, please, let’s not ever grow old. I want us to always hang on to the newness that we have right now. And let’s not be ashamed of our innocence of the child within us. Let’s never give up on our dreams.
Please don’t try to keep it from me when you’re feeling down. I’ll never be able to share your joy if you try to protect me from your sadness.
Please don’t ever say never and please, don’t promise me forever. All I ask is that you love me now.
And please know that I love you more today than I ever have before. I can’t promise you forever but I can promise you today with the hope and belief that there is a beautiful tomorrow in store for us.
EviLU: ce ti-am zis eu?
ME: nu stiu de ce ma simt asa
EviLU: ti-am zis ca tu esti indragostita de ideea si am sa te dezamagesc dar asa o sa fie mereu. nu o sa fie niciodata un el; o sa fie ok o perioada si dupa ai sa ii gasesti defecte
EviLU: perfectiunea pe care o vrei tu nu exista
ME: ideea e ca EL e altfel, adica nu are defecte sau nu avea....ti-am zis...nu pot sa inteleg ce s-0a intamplat
ME: duminica aia daca trebuia sa aleg o viata cu el as fi zis da, daca imi zice asta acum nu stiu ce sa fac
EviLU: in mintea ta tu ti l-ai imaginat perfect. nimeni cu e asa. trebuie sa accepti asta si sa inveti sa ii accepti pe oameni asa cum sunt si din punctul asta de vedere sa faci compromisuri
ME: ideea e ca inainte de sms urile alea i-as fi dat 100%. acum nu stiu daca pot... pur si simplu nu stiu. mi-e cu atat mai ciudat si mai greu cu cat stiu ca 5 ani de zile am asteptat momentul asta si acum...si acum ce fac cu el? de ce sunt asa?
EviLU: te superi? nu te-ai gandit 5 ani la el. daca nu apare la un moment dat nu plangeai din cauza asta, dar ptr ca a aparut ti-a adus aminte de EL ala pe care ti l-ai imaginat tu
EviLU: asa esti tu, esti defecta, dar asta nu e de rau
ME: aaaa nuuu...nu e de rau sa te gandesti la o noapte de acum 5 ani, la un frumos text pe care l-a compus el si mi l-a trimis, la melodia care ne aduce aminte unul de altul.... si in sfarsit sa fiu langa el...si sa nu mai pot...adica acum ma simt ca si cand as sta in pragul unei usi deschise, dar nu pot sa trec prin ea.
ME: duminica aia AS FI TRECUT INTR-O MILISECUNDA, acum ....acum....acum nu stiu
EvilU: repet: asa esti tu, dar tu ar trebui sa stii asta. din punctul asta de vedere esti foarte schimbatore, ai o idee constanta pe care ti-o adaptezi la situatie, dar tu vrei mereu acelasi lucru
ME: eu vreau iubire nelimitata si neconditionata si culmea e ca EL ar putea cred sa imi dea asta
ME: si totusi.,..mesajele alea: mi-au rupt sufletul si nu stiu cum sa il repar
EviLU: dar tu iti imaginezi in felul tau modalitatea de a iti da iubirea aia neconditionata
ME: nu stiu daca ai citit....dar ma simt exact ca in romanele lui camil petrescu...mai am un pic si imi despic capul sa scot de acolo ceea ce ma face o inadaptatat
EviLU: zi-mi de ce ai vrea tu sa te schimbi? de ce sa scoti ceva de la tine?
ME: pentru ca nu sunt facuta pentru lumea asta ...cel putin din punctul asta de vedere. eu traiesc mai mult prin simturi nu stiu sa iti explic.... si nu stiu ce sa fac acum. nu simt ca as putea sa fiu cu el 100% cum as fi fost incepand din duminica aia.... nu pot sa zic ca nu vreau deloc pt ca e EL
ME: intelegi? nu stiu ce sa faaaaaac. deci ce sa fac?? zi-mi tu si aia fac
EviLU: nu am ce sa iti zic
ME: nu pot sa inteleg cum poti as iti doresti pe cineva atat de mult si in acelasi timp sa vrei sa fugi cat mai departe de el
EviLU: la asta nu ti-as putea raspunde
ME: eu as fi in stare acum sa inventez o masina a timpului sa fac sa nu existe alea 4 zile... dar nu se poate si trebuie sa traiesc cu asta pt toata viata....aproape ca il urasc ca mi-a furat asta... daca doar mi-ar fi explicat altfel sau daca ar fi pus altfel problema... nu inteleg totusi ce m-a ranit ataaat de tare
EviLU: hai sa iti zic o chestie
ME: doare
EviLU: chiar daca nu o sa mai fiu NICIODATA cu ea, daca nu o sa o mai tin niciodata in brate si o sa ma doara toata viata, nu as renunta ptr nimic in lumea la perioada cand am fost cu ea, chiar daca ar fi sa treaca durerea. NICIODATA
ME: ei bine pe mine ma doare de atunci de la faza aia atat de tare, incat dimineata ma trezesc oftand... incat nu pot sa il vad, nu pot sa il sun, nu pot sa ii scriu....